Prologue

there's a chance these posts will be pretty awful in the beginning. just until i manage to break through this huge concrete wall of resistance. part of it is i am bored to tears with the subject. i spent most of my life talking about my mother's absence; explaining it; reassuring people i was okay despite of it; but the truth is there IS something in there. in HERE. something that isn't quite okay. i'm just not sure where IT lies. i gotta do some digging. a lotta digging. there'll be a lotta dirt. in the not-so-exciting meaning of the word. rubbish. waste.

where do i start? where IS the beginning? if i knew the answer to this question i wouldn't be writing this blog...

so i guess i must start at the logical beginning. as far as i know it. the beginning of her life. but somehow i feel i have to start that with a new post. on another day...